My therapist tells me that writing is good for me and will make my emotional/spiritual and physical me healthy so, I guess by the end of this book I should be in perfect health. I love the idea of being healthy so I am going to do a really good and thorough job of writing out the events and adventures of my life in order to help me discover the way I want to live the rest of my life So, lets get started.
I was born in 1962, in Cape Girardeau, Missouri at the Southeast Missouri Hospital. My birth was complicated and both my mom and I nearly met Jesus first hand on April 21st. You see I was backwards in the birthing process...(which helps explain a lot already) ... and if that's not enough I was all tangled up in my life support system ... (again, the story of my life and the reason I am a slow learner...poor oxygen to the brain). Mom had been in labor for about a million years when the doctors finally decided they should perform an emergency C-section. In 1962 a C-section was performed by a doctor who had experience with a chainsaw and a nurse who could run a backhoe... My poor mother ... growing up she would point to the scar on her belly and say "It wasn't easy, but, you were worth it". On my birthday she would tell the story of how "We almost didn't make it but, look at us now"... and how She knew I was going to be fine when she saw me kicking and squirming in the incubator ... "You were a survivor" she would say. (Cue music... "I will Survive") You know what... my Mom is right. "I am a survivor". I wasn't even 7 days old and I had already cheated death once and that wouldn't be the last time. I grew up believing I survived because I had a will to overcome... "Thanks Mom".
To be honest I still believe that. I believe that as a newborn while surrounded by all the options of death ... I chose to live ... or maybe, just maybe, I was chosen to live. Now, if I chose to live, then I was a very intelligent and powerful newborn with psychic powers who guided the doctors by my will and determination ... but, if I was that powerful and intelligent I would not have got lost in the birth canal ... it is a pretty straight shot ... and I would have arranged my life-line/feeding tube in a much more safe configuration ... You see the fact that I wanted to go butt first and wanted to use my umbilical cord as a noose/bungee cord would suggest ... "I did not know what I was doing". Therefore, I am left with the option that maybe I was chosen to live. Obviously my Mom and Dad wanted me to live ... my big sister Karen wanted me to live and my big brother Jack wanted me to live (however, I think he would had changed his mind if he could have seen the future) ... but, they were afraid and mom was unconscious and close to death herself ... Imagine, one minute you are excited and happy to see your new baby boy and baby brother and the next minute you are given the certain possibility that they will die. So, I am left to believe that a power much bigger than my family made this choice ... and I have always believed that.
So, from my birth experience I learned two things. The first is " I believe I was chosen to be alive and on this planet by a power much bigger and stronger than my family, those who love me most and know me the best. Second, "I believe that the difficulties of my birth and the fact that I lived through them planted, deep in my being, a fearless spirit that I can overcome any obstacle. These two beliefs have encouraged me, provoked me, and comforted me. These two beliefs have been reinforced, refined, relived and reaffirmed through out my life. These two beliefs are mine ... they belong to me ... and I choose to take them with me.
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